Today is the publication day for Effie’s Senior Year: The Complete Effie Stories, so I thought it’d be appropriate for Effie to say a few words on this momentous occasion.
Effie's Senior Year

3 Reasons I, Effie Green, Am Glad That Today is My Book Birthday
3.) As hard as Ophelia tries, she will never have a book birthday.

3 a.) That said, she has pushed out a baby, which will have birthdays annually. I’ll pretty much have this birthday once.

3 b.) But how special is something that happens annually, compared to something that happens once in a lifetime? It’s like today is Haley’s Comet, and Ophelia’s baby will have birthdays like…. well, birthdays.

3 c.) Birthdays come with cake though, and Haley’s Comet comes with standing outside in the freezing cold while your mother yells at the top of her lungs that “Effie, I can see you’re cold! Didn’t we just buy you a padded bra? Come inside and you can watch this on TV!”

2.) Today’s book birthday means that I have survived my senior year of high school.

2 a.) Just barely.

2 b.) That said, there were only a few days were I thought I would die a literal death. These days usually coincided with major school events, and pretty much any day where Robbie had just had a chocolate milkshake and refused to roll down the windows even though he was creating enough methane for literally every cow whose milk he had just drank.

1.) I get to talk to you one last time before my series is closed.

1 a.) Oh my god, who am I going to talk to now?

1 b.) And what about when I go to college?

1 c.) Gulp. Am I going to have to take advice from my mom?!



Effie's Senior Year by Tracy Marchini

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Chicken Wants a Nap by Tracy Marchini

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